Friday, December 11, 2009

Boardwalk Smackdown

One of the things I love most in life is going to the beach. I'm in So Florida this week, and the people watching is not pretty. What happens to us (women over 50) after the age of whatever, to make us wear those skirted bathing suits. Some of the horrors seen at the beach this week:

Those skirted suits
A big tattoo believe it or not on a grandma's shoulder
Too much skin period
A baseball worn backwards I kid you not
All men had a gut (yes relevant, see below)

Ok so I understand it's the beach, of course too much skin. People, we can so look better than this. There are such fabulous cover-ups for taking a walk on the shore. Wear a really cool straw hat rather than a baseball cap backwards or no hat at all (sun dries out our hair, remember?). Tattoos what can I say, it's just too awful. Instead of wearing a skirted old lady bathing suit, wear a form fitting suit that sucks you in. Yes these swimsuits are sold everywhere. They are like wearing Spanx. Cover-up on top, good hat. We are so lucky that we can retrain the eye to our better features with the use of some fashion tricks. Men, not so lucky. All they have is their swim trunks with the fat belly hanging. No hope for them, but there is hope for us. Work it ladies!
Oh, and a tip, if you are in ok shape, you can be the one to decide this, always buy your swimsuit one size smaller than your regular size. So much better.


  1. I would look like a dork in a skirted suit, but my friend Sarah looks awesome! Of course she gets kind of wild retro-mod ones and has the presence to pull it off.
    Clearly there are exceptions. I hate those suits with flab control, look good and feel awful - I love to swim in the ocean even in Maine, so need comfort. My only choice is to try to stay/get in shape.

  2. That's always the alternative, but when you are 60+ things start to buckle. Anyway, a good suit with coverup is key. Remember, not too much skin! That's for the young 'uns.